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Its amazing how just one little incident can change your life forever.  I’ve spent the better part of the last 8 months waiting in vane that painful little twinge in my heart that never goes away.  Hopeful and patient but lost and alone.

I thought about this girl 24 hours a day, I dreamed of her.  She was the first thing I thought about when I woke up, and the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep.

Last night was the tipping point, one simple little incident and just like that I knew it was over. I couldn’t believe it, like switching off a light I had no more feelings.  No loss, no pain, nothing, it all just drained out of my body and along with it all the pain was released.

I neatly packaged her up in a little mental bottle, filled it with love and threw her out, back to the universal sea from which she came.

I woke early today and I felt completely at peace. I have been wasting so much mental energy  exhaustion has ruled my life for far too long.  I went for a long slow jog in the early morning drizzle and it dawned on me, I’m finally free.


Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

~Anais Nin