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8 miles into my journey I turned the boat around and headed back to the dock, I’m done.

Yesterday I got the news just a little late, I had missed my ride and my one chance a year to be with my family.  I tried to mask my disappointment, hung up the phone and walked out the door.  I came back to work after hours, cleaned up my desk and left a note that said gone sailing.

I walked down to the boat and got her all set up, by the time I was ready to leave it was nearly 11:00pm but I was wide a wake.  For the first time ever I sailed easily out of the harbor Bellingham was pushing me out of the nest.  In the light winds it took over two hours to get across the 8 mile bay.  It was beautiful and balmy as the gentle winds scooted me off on my journey.

I don’t know how to describe the empty feeling that began to fall over me other than complete loneliness.  I don’t ever remember feeling such detachment or utter loneliness in my life.

This is supposed to be fun I thought to myself, the sailing was magnificent but without someone to share it with it was empty.  I turned the boat around and headed back to the harbor.  I’ve always enjoyed day sailing solo as it is such a great way to clear the mind.  I don’t know whats changed but I have no desire to sail alone.

Every journey has an end, the question is where do I go from here.

The most terrible poverty in this world is loneliness.

Mother Teresa

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