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The hardest journey of my life has been downsizing and attempting to live a sustainable life.  I have always held my self to a high level of responsibility for my foot print on this planet but it never seems to be enough.

I was talking to an old client of mine who had just returned from Hawaii.  In one day they caught and killed over a dozen Mahi Mahi, also known as Dolphin, or Dorado.  Hundreds of gallons of fuel was spent to kill a boat full of fish for sport, fish that mate for life.  I can only wonder how many of these boats are out there every day of the year.  I could look at the positive side that all the fish was given away as food but something just doesn’t sit right with me.   I have been avoiding eating fish that I haven’t personally caught for over a decade.  It only took one trip on a commercial boat to witness the carnage first hand to stop me in my tracks.

So I don’t eat fish, don’t have a car or use a cell phone, my life’s possessions fit in a shoe box, I’m living 90 percent off grid.  Does any of this matter?  My boat is made of fiberglass, I own a computer, and camera both made in China and shipped half way across the world using blood oil, everything I am wearing was made half way around the world.  I use plastic, put toxic paint on the bottom of my boat and am shopping for foam cushions manufactured in yep, China so I can have a soft bed to lay in.  The time has come to give my Yuloh back so I will be purchasing a small outboard that runs on gas, again the product of blood oil.

My third midlife crisis is definitely starting, If this one is half as fun as the last two Its going to be an amazing ride.  The difference between this one and the last two is that one way or another this one will be spent attempting to better the world, where to start…

“To reverse the effects of civilization would destroy the dreams of a lot of people. There’s no way around it. We can talk all we want about sustainability, but there’s a sense in which it doesn’t matter that these people’s dreams are based on, embedded in, intertwined with, and formed by an inherently destructive economic and social system. Their dreams are still their dreams. What right do I — or does anyone else — have to destroy them.

At the same time, what right do they have to destroy the world?” 
~Derrick Jensen, The Problem of Civilization

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