They are calling for snow for the next two days, the wind is blowing 20-30 and gusting over 50 knots. I was supposed to be sailing today but after all its springtime in The San Juan’s what else would I expect.
Its days like this that firm my resolve to be out of here before winter hits again. I have officially survived my fourth winter in the Salish Sea and summer is calling my name. As I look across the bay from my warm office the sea’s are angry as they do their best to smash the sea wall to bits. Today is the unofficial opener to cruising season and in 6 short months just like yesterday, today, and tomorrow it will be winter again.
“The clock holds me nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. There is nothing else but now and the shifting depth of the night. I sit at a table alone smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee and listening and surviving. I should not be here or anywhere. I should not be breathing or taking space. I should not have been given this moment or anything else. I should not have this opportunity again to live. I do not deserve it or deserve anything yet it is here and I am here and I Have it all of it still. I won’t have it again. This moment or this chance they are the same and they are mine if I choose them and I do. I want them. Now and as long as I can have them they are both precious and fleeting and gone in the blink of an eye don’t waste them. A moment and an opportunity and a life, all in the unseen tick of a clock holding me nowhere. My heart is beating. The walls are pale and quiet. I am surviving. ”
~James Frey, A Million Little Pieces