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My father once told me that it is fear that gives us courage.  When Sookie found her way into my life I was broke and the middle of a divorce.  I got in a friends car, drove 27 hours south for a quick look and a hand shake deal and she was mine…well almost.  I had told the seller that I didn’t have a penny to my name but that I would figure out a way.

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60 days later my marriage and divorce were behind me.  I had sold almost everything I had in the world and all I had to do was ship the boat north.  I had the money to ship her but was broke beyond that.  Once the boat arrived I would have to pay my slip fee, boat yard storage and trailer storage so I wanted to be careful to have some money in the bank and for once in my life be at least the smallest bit of responsible.

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I had three deals in the can all three of them had been surveyed and sea trialed and were clear to close.  I never count my commission’s but figured I was safe enough to ship Sookie, her scheduled arrival date was April 1st 2011.  What the hell could possibly go wrong?  After being kidnapped by the shipping company she did arrive on April 2nd, but that’s a whole different story.  When Sookie showed up at the boat yard so did every sailor in Bellingham,  Word got around quickly that a Falmouth Cutter had arrived in the boat yard and the party went late into the night.

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Bright and early Monday morning I got the first of three calls that would eventually let me know that all three buyers had backed out.  My current life savings was $99.14 I needed a bike to get back and forth from my office to the boatyard and so on April 4th 2011 my life savings dropped to .14 cents.  No big deal, I had my dream boat, she was paid for and a huge pile of boat shit.  I went through everything I had and made 2 piles, sell and keep.  By the end of my selling spree everything I owned in the world would fit into my pockets.

Falmouth Cutter

I worked and waited and worked always waiting for that perfect person to fall into my life that shared my same dreams.  The only problem is that I actually believed that there was somebody out there that wanted to pack up and set off to explore every inch of the world from the deck of my sturdy little ship.  Time came and went leaving me with one of life’s most important lessons, patience.  The more patient I became the more firmly my resolve to sail away became.  Somewhere along the lines from A to B Chloe got old and now not only was I crew-less but I have a reluctant dog.

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Chloe and I have sailed all over the place form the Bahamas to Baja and the Channel islands.  She had always loved sailing and the exploring that came with it but one huge storm changed all that, now she trembles every-time we leave the dock.  There is no storm that can shake Serena, she is calm and always finds a way to happily weather the weather while cooking huge feasts as we go.  The only problem is that she has dreams too and they are 180 degrees from mine.

falmouth cutter

When I set sail penny-less this summer it was no big deal, this has been an adventure since day one and that’s really what I wanted most of all, an adventure.  To get where I am I have lived in my car and even in an abandoned clam plant.  I have gone hungry more often than not and lost or sold all of my personal possessions.  With each new season I have watched love come and go with the predictability of the tides.  Sookie is well on her way to being the finest yacht on the planet.   I have learned that I do have what it takes most of the time and that yes dreams are worth following.  While it has never been easy it has always been fun and exciting.  Choose wisely, how could anybody respect a man who let his dreams die inside of him.  The voyage continues and it gets better every day, Sookie gets more and more comfortable each year and with each new piece of gear another adventure waits in the balance.  I might be a rebel without a crew but no part of this voyage has been alone.

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If you want to have something to write about you have to actually stop dreaming and start living because that’s where all this shit happens.  One day we will all wake up to the fact that our youth is gone and wonder what the fuck just happened!

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ~Unknown