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Call me Ishmael, Captain Ahab had his white whale and I have mine.  To make a long story short, Ahab ignores this voice of reason and continues with his ill-fated chase.  In the end he is dragged into the depths of the sea by the diving Moby Dick.

White whale

I’m beginning to feel like Captain Ahab, my white whale is a sailing partner.  Not just a partner, a best friend, a lover, a co-conspiriter a…  I’m so sick of dating I can’t take it anymore I give up!  I’ve done the solo sailing thing and for me it is completely intolerable.  Even if I did like sailing solo my dog gets absolutely skitso on the boat and there is simply no way I can do it alone for my sake and hers.

Dog on a boat

Its a crime to have such a wonderful boat and not be able to use it.  A boat I spent so many years dreaming about and now she is mine, three years and every ounce I could muster to get her where she is which for all intensive purposes is chained to the dock.  Its been a long three years most of which I have been unemployed  but somehow we always pull through.

Allegra 24

Spring will bring the three year anniversary of my divorce, I spent 16 months seperated so I had become well adjusted to the end.  Everything was lost and the perfect boat got sold, I couldn’t stand to be near it, she had too many wonderful memories.  Like a man stricken with blind faith I trudged on without missing a beat, spent my last cent on my dream boat and when money could be found invested it all in the dream.

White Whale

I’ve got the boat, she is ready, I’m broke as usual but have a ton of food and booze.  I have all my ducks in a row the whole wide world to explore and no desire to do it alone.  The closest I’ve ever come to having a complete mental breakdown was on a solo passage with Chloe, although it was like any trip with her.  She trembled the whole time jumping in and out of the companionway every 5 minutes, piling it at least every other attempt.  Ive tried locking her in the boat, out of the boat nothing works, with no lifelines I have to keep her within arms reach at all times which isn’t easy when you are trying to sail. Now that she is nearly 13 its all just too much for her.  I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me but for now its all about the dog.  So I sit and wait for my bilge babe to show up, maybe this whole journey is my white whale…

True love

“I try all things, I achieve what I can.” ~Herman Melville, Moby Dick

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