The three key ingredients for fire are Heat, fuel and oxygen. You can rub two sticks together for an eternity but if one of these key elements is missing its all for not. My cut off date for Alaska has come and gone. The boats ready, I’m ready, but the third key element is missing. Today I’m coming to terms with becoming a live-aboard day sailor.
This morning I emailed the Marina and cancelled my launch date, I was pushing too hard to launch and decided I want a little breathing room. I’ve never been this burned out in my life, I wake up exhausted and never seem to recover. While I’m disappointed and frustrated, I’m also a bit relieved. I’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself to complete this circle and it feels good to be free if only for a bit to not have to live up to my own expectations.
My only question now is where to live for the summer. Weather permiting I’m ready to put my final coat of paint on the rudder cheeks. It seemed sac religious to paint them but the oak cheeks were pretty rough, I have to say I’m almost pleased with the new look. I cut the motor off the boat and took her in for a complete service, i’m not excited to see the bill but this will mark the first time since purchasing the boat that I will actually have a reliable motor. When I had Sookie hauled I sailed into the boatyard since her motor had gone south for the winter and the majority of the summer.
From here on out its one day at a time living in my treehouse in the boatyard. Life is good and somehow I still feel free although its a different type of freedom. When the motor comes I’ll flip a coin and see where destiny carries me. Today is a good day for a run, I think I’ll head to the hills and get as far away from the boatyard as I can.
“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”
― George Harrison