I could have come up with a thousand reasons why it wasn’t the right time. Deep inside of me I felt a huge pang of fear… WTF was I doing. I took one last look at my house locked the front door, hung the key in the hanging lock for the realtor and just like that I was homeless. I turned to walk away and that first step started it, the adventure had begun. Somewhere down the highway I stopped at a post office and had my mail forwarded to general delivery.
I can’t say that it ever gets easyier but it does become some strange form of normal. When I found the Dirtbag Diary Podcast it was like being reunited with a long lost friend, it reminded me I’m not the only one. I left on this journey with a partner but even back then deep down I knew she wouldn’t last. This lifestyle is often a solo journey. Its not that there aren’t great partners out there but thats the thing, they are out there not here sitting around waiting to be out there.
When I met Candice my first impression was that she was a gentle flower, huge stunning eyes, soft skin and very well kept. It turns out that not only is she a dirtbag but she is the queen of dirtbags and an absolute machine who also happens to clean up quite well. There is a pecking order even in this small obscure subset of society. We all seek guidance in this world, Candice is one of my top role models in making it happen. Gypsybytrade is another one of my role models and my all-time favorite online journal. I have read every single post he has written from day one and often go back and read them again. It may seem that we are nothing more that lost and lazy souls but the reality is that we are the most highly motivated of all, our dreams occur during the waking hours of the day, eyes wide open.
We all have dreams and wants in life and we all have fears of inadequacy about attaining those dreams. I could tell you how I do it but it doesn’t matter, my path only works for me. You can spend the rest of your life trying to figure it all out but honestly from the safe warm comfort and security of your home you don’t even know what it is that you are trying to figure out. The timing will never be right and there will always be excuses and time lines and barriers. Until you get out there you will never understand a single thing, there is only one time and its right now.
Leap in head first and when you have bad days remember even back in that gentle sheltered life you had bad days. In my 8 years of this journey I can’t tell you how many times or how close I have come to giving it all up getting an easy job in a nice climate controlled office and going back to living in my car and cubicle but every time I get even remotely close the only thing I can think about is getting dirty. Strangely I miss the suffrage and unknowing… whats around that next corner, who will I run into and where will I sleep tonight. Do I have enough food? Do I have enough money? Am I going to freeze my ass off again tonight? Where the hell am I anyways??? My name is Stormy and I’m a Dirtbag
“If you want to understand the entrepreneur, study the juvenile delinquent. The delinquent is saying with his actions, “This sucks. I’m going to do my own thing.”
~ Yvon Chouinard