, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It doesn’t matter why I had decided I wanted a private jet, I just wanted one.  Once I was committed to the plane all I had to do was figure out how to pay for it.  My crude calculations told me if I wasn’t worth a minimum of a cool hundred mil the jet was out.  I leased a cabin in the woods for a year, sold my car and committed to creating something out of nothing.


It took serveral months to come up with a product, it was called Frizzbone, an eddible dogie frisbee that tasted like peanut butter cleaned their teeth and was super fun to play with.  In the product line was also Bonerange, an edible boomerang.  Boneafit, tasty doggie treats with vitamins.  Bone-appetite grommet dog food.  There was the bonedana, boneapparel… The only product I had to develop was the Frizzbone, everything else would be done on paper and manufactured after the company took off.

Having a great product is one thing but selling it is another.  My plan was that Wham-o would immediately sue me.  I hired a team of lawyers to search every possible complaint they would have.  Once I knew I was free and clear I went to work.  As a retired publicist I would use the lawsuit as a form of advertisement in less than a week every American would know of my product.

I started making proto types but it soon became clear I would have to manufacture in China if I wanted to compete in a very tight market.  I ordered samples and had them shipped in by the dozens, then the hundreds.  I used a sled to cart everything in and out of my little cain in the woods.  Frizzbone was was on fire and it was not only easy but fun yet something was stirring in me.  Hauling all that trash in and out was not only a nightmare but for the first time in my life I couldn’t just throw my rubbish in a bin and forget about it. somewhere back in the woods I was becoming a minimalist.

At this point in my life I honestly thought that food came from the store and gas came from the gas pump.  I didn’t know what recycling was and didnt know anything about my won personal footprint.  My short hikes into town overwhelmed me, everyone seemed so angry and displaced.  For the first time I started smelling the exhaust fumes from cars, noticing trash on the side of the road and packaging I couldn’t believe how much waste I created on a daily basis.  When you have to personally face your trash it takes on a whole new meaning.  When I got my sales predictions I was shocked at how much money my little company would generate but the only thing I could see was the trash.

My time 12 months in the woods sped along and a month before spring, the end of my sobatical I rented a car and drove to San Francisco to meet with a broker who would help my start my search for the perfect jet.  This trip was a bit premature but I figured it would take me a full year to design my spaceship.  I didn’t make it half way to the airport, the city was nothing less than insanity, people driving like maniacs, cars trying to kill pedestrians, each other and me. I drove through miles and miles of sprawl.  The only thought I had was that I was embarrassed to be part of the human race and its destruction.  I turned around  and hid in my cabin for the rest of the month.  I was torn, I had in my hands the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but It would come at a huge cost to me and the planet I love so much and just like that I changed my direction 180 degrees.  I killed the company bought a little sailboat and sailed off into the sunset.  I’m still a consumer but now I consume the beautiful life that was handed to me.

American cities are like badger holes, ringed with trash — all of them — surrounded by piles of wrecked and rusting automobiles, and almost smothered with rubbish. Everything we use comes in boxes, cartons, bins, the so-called packaging we love so much. The mountains of things we throw away are much greater than the things we use. In this, if no other way, we can see the wild an reckless exuberance of our production, and waste seems to be the index. Driving along I thought how in France or Italy every item of these thrown-out things would have been saved and used for something. This is not said in criticism of one system or the other but I do wonder whether there will come a time when we can no longer afford our wastefulness — chemical wastes in the rivers, metal wastes everywhere, and atomic wastes buried deep in the earth or sunk in the sea. When an Indian village became too deep in its own filth, the inhabitants moved. And we have no place to which to move.” ― John Steinbeck

Liked it? Take a second to support Stormy on Patreon!