I had spent the last several years traveling on an open ended journey of discovery. The day I ran out of money wasn’t the end of the journey but the beginning of a new one.
I woke up in a hammock with my best friend Colette, the night before I had spent my last 20 bucks on a 12 pack of beer and box of cigarettes. She rolled over and asked me what I was going to do next, my answer was simple. Well Im flat broke, homeless and own nothing more than what I carry on my back. I don’t think I can get any lower in life so I’m going to Hollywood to be an actor. No matter what happens from this point on the only direction I can go is up.
Little did I know that this moment in time was one of the most defining decisions of my life. I laid my scant few possessions on the front lawn in the small but crowded town of Mission Beach and wrote garage sale on an old piece of white cardbord. I literally sold everything I owned with the exception of my daypack, an old flannel shirt my shower kit and a few tee shirts. I spent a few days tramping around La Jolla before buying a one way train ticket to Los Angeles. Within 10 days of arriving I was an actor on the set of Picture Perfect. I was hired as a non union extra but it was paying work, they fed me and clothed me and it was my toe in the door. It took me less than a year to get my first real acting role and with it came my SAG card and my introduction to the Screen Actors Guild. I did an average of 100 auditions to get a single role that would usually film for one or two days and then it was back to auditions again.
I’m not good at anything, any success I have in this world has been gained through attrition. Holding Emily in my arms this morning, tears in her eyes I don’t have any thing brilliant to share with her so I just hold on like I’ll never let go. The world can be a cold frightening place but it doesn’t ever have the power to crush us. She bombed her interview with her dream job as a journalist on the Islands. I know full well what it feels like to fail at virtually every attempt I make in this world at following my dreams, but I also know the feeling I have when against all odds I conquer the world. One of my favorite sayings is You haven’t done enough laps around the track.
If you don’t have all the success you desire in this world its because you haven’t failed enough. From the Log Of Sookie… Headed to Port Townsend 2014