Tags

, , , , , , ,

Our friends are appalled with our lifestyle.  Our families are distraught and everyone we know thinks were bat shit crazy.  Emily’s mother can’t figure out why we deprive ourselves while mine patiently waits for my temporary insanity to end.

The Joneses

It goes something like this with every sailor we have ever known or met. Just insert diesel engine, radar, GPS, life-raft, AIS, E-pirb, water maker, outboard for our dingy, wind generator, solar, pressure water, hot water, reefer, windlass, 15 anchors, insurance, insurance, insurance, wind instruments, depth sounder, knot log, abandon ship kit, digital charts, chart plotter, RDF, Ham radio, single side band, weather fax, chart plotter, heat, head, shower…

Sailor, What do you mean you don’t have refridgeration?

Us, We keep our food in the bilges

Sailor, WTF???

It never ends and while we fight it as best we can the Jones always get us.  Emily was bitching about our new dehumidifier that I swore to her wouldn’t work when WHAM, a lightbulb clicked in.  Do you realize what just happened I asked her?  Those Damn Canadians just cost us 55 bucks!  My best friends just sailed up from Mazatlan with the sole propose of buying us a beer and cooking us a wonderful dinner, which was amazing.  The booze flowed and it didn’t take long for boat shit to come up.  We went back and forth on whether or not dehumidifiers do anything on a boat and while I swore they didn’t they swore they did.  Emily wanted one and while I protested. I figured the best lesson would be to let her figure it out on her own.

And so the story goes, Jones:1, Crew of 2: 0, as we continue to fight an often loosing battle.  We can’t have it all and while we work hard at having enough, who is to say just what that is.  I’m currently writing the minimalists guide to voyaging.  Line one for the voyaging sailor, If I want something and I don’t have it, I don’t need it.

We are human and have needs and wants just like the Joneses do but thats the thing… This is our starting point not the end of it all.  We make do knowing that someday we might actually have an ice box or something to potty in nicer than a bucket but those things are luxuries not necessities.  Given the choice between roller furling or a nice used DLSR to document our travels I’ll take the camera.  My back serves as a great windlass and while I’m not exactly fond of warm beer it beats the shit out of no beer.

Some day I will write the Book Of Emily and all the many reasons why she is so fucking awesome.  For now I feel fortunate for my stunning good looks and Adonis like body that keeps her coming back to pee in my bucket, eat my crappy cooking, and drift about in my spinaker-less boat.

“Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”
― Charles Bukowski

Liked it? Take a second to support Stormy on Patreon!