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Sprawled out on all four’s the distinctive smell of shit was overpowering.  I’m barfing my guts out in a grass drainage ditch at the top of some un-named hill.  Snot dripping from my nose and foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog.  The most fucked up part is whats going through my mind each time I wretch.  I keep thinking, man my stomach is going to be so ripped from this and thats how I met her but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Bike Love

When Emily left the boat she took a piece of my heart with her.  I feel distinctly alone but not lonely.  I’ve been busy wrapping up the boat but it was just to hot to work, I stepped into the cockpit for a ciggi and there they were… There is a camp ground literally 20 feet from Sookie and in it were two young coeds in the smallest bikinis I have ever see.  Normally I would sneak a peek and go about my business but not today, I’m jacked, I need a woman and  none of this was helping.  I ducked into the boat grabbed my helmet and hit the road on Katie, my fixie.  The next best thing to a cold shower is a good hard ride.

Lets face it I don’t do well when confronted with stupid people like the girl who refused to sell me ciggis without ID on my 47th Birthday.  Today it was a group of spandex clad hipsters on $10,000.00 bikes hogging up the winding road pedaling at a snails pace.  There was a long climb coming and I needed to punish myself on it to clear my mind.  I kept remembering my good friend Wayne Dyers words, Stormy, there are no justified grievances.  My frustration got the best of me, I called out on your left as I passed team spandex, I was wearing my chaco’s hiking shorts and a cotton tee shirt as I passed them on the climb.  The only thing more humiliating to a cyclist than being passed by a guy on a single speed would be if the bike was pink, yes Katie is getting powder coated. When I lived in Hawaii I learned a fun trick, if you want to race somebody you blow a snot rocket at their front tire and its on.  I could hear the lead rider rolling his gears and with it started the Tour De Lopez.  One by one every one of them passed me I couldn’t keep up with their gears.  I was feeling light headed as I rounded the top of the hill, stepped off my bike and fell to me knees.

Nothing could be more humiliating than being beaten by spandex hipster cyclists except one thing, a witness.  I heard the distinctive unclipping of riding cleats, felt a pat on the back and heard her soft soothing words, take it easy friend, I’m a nurse you might have heat stroke.  I don’t have heat stroke I blurted out half muffled by my hand from wiping barf off my face, I haven’t eaten in four days and pushed it a little hard.  A little hard?  I saw you racing that cycling team. on your fixie, and you haven’t eaten in how many days?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Where should I start I replied, a single tear rolled down my cheek.  She smiled reached out her hand and as I reached out mine she retracted, I suddenly knew when the smell of shit was coming from.

I cleaned myself up and she offered to buy me a slice of Pizza and a beer at the local food store.   She is staying at the hotel next to the boat yard and invited me in for a shower.  I was too dense to know if she was offering me a shower to clean up or attempting to get me into the shower with her.  I made up some lame story why I had to leave and thanked her for dinner and good company.  She went in for a hug, her warm breath whispered in my ear, you have no idea what you are missing.  As she pulled back she snuck in a peck on the lips…

My head was a little higher when I threw my leg over my bike and pedaled into the sunset.

From the log of Sookie – Alone in the islands  `Breaking up sucks, but not half as badly as re-entry.

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