Sprawled out on all four’s the distinctive smell of shit was overpowering. I’m barfing my guts out in a grass drainage ditch at the top of some un-named hill. Snot dripping from my nose and foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. The most fucked up part is whats going through my mind each time I wretch. I keep thinking, man my stomach is going to be so ripped from this and thats how I met her but I’m getting ahead of myself.
When Emily left the boat she took a piece of my heart with her. I feel distinctly alone but not lonely. I’ve been busy wrapping up the boat but it was just to hot to work, I stepped into the cockpit for a ciggi and there they were… There is a camp ground literally 20 feet from Sookie and in it were two young coeds in the smallest bikinis I have ever see. Normally I would sneak a peek and go about my business but not today, I’m jacked, I need a woman and none of this was helping. I ducked into the boat grabbed my helmet and hit the road on Katie, my fixie. The next best thing to a cold shower is a good hard ride.
Lets face it I don’t do well when confronted with stupid people like the girl who refused to sell me ciggis without ID on my 47th Birthday. Today it was a group of spandex clad hipsters on $10,000.00 bikes hogging up the winding road pedaling at a snails pace. There was a long climb coming and I needed to punish myself on it to clear my mind. I kept remembering my good friend Wayne Dyers words, Stormy, there are no justified grievances. My frustration got the best of me, I called out on your left as I passed team spandex, I was wearing my chaco’s hiking shorts and a cotton tee shirt as I passed them on the climb. The only thing more humiliating to a cyclist than being passed by a guy on a single speed would be if the bike was pink, yes Katie is getting powder coated. When I lived in Hawaii I learned a fun trick, if you want to race somebody you blow a snot rocket at their front tire and its on. I could hear the lead rider rolling his gears and with it started the Tour De Lopez. One by one every one of them passed me I couldn’t keep up with their gears. I was feeling light headed as I rounded the top of the hill, stepped off my bike and fell to me knees.
Nothing could be more humiliating than being beaten by spandex hipster cyclists except one thing, a witness. I heard the distinctive unclipping of riding cleats, felt a pat on the back and heard her soft soothing words, take it easy friend, I’m a nurse you might have heat stroke. I don’t have heat stroke I blurted out half muffled by my hand from wiping barf off my face, I haven’t eaten in four days and pushed it a little hard. A little hard? I saw you racing that cycling team. on your fixie, and you haven’t eaten in how many days? What the hell is wrong with you? Where should I start I replied, a single tear rolled down my cheek. She smiled reached out her hand and as I reached out mine she retracted, I suddenly knew when the smell of shit was coming from.
I cleaned myself up and she offered to buy me a slice of Pizza and a beer at the local food store. She is staying at the hotel next to the boat yard and invited me in for a shower. I was too dense to know if she was offering me a shower to clean up or attempting to get me into the shower with her. I made up some lame story why I had to leave and thanked her for dinner and good company. She went in for a hug, her warm breath whispered in my ear, you have no idea what you are missing. As she pulled back she snuck in a peck on the lips…
My head was a little higher when I threw my leg over my bike and pedaled into the sunset.
From the log of Sookie – Alone in the islands `Breaking up sucks, but not half as badly as re-entry.