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I have this picture on the home screen of my little Iphone. Its the first thing I look at every morning when I wake and the last thing I look at every night before I go to bed. That was one of the best days of my life.  I had all the elements I desired, fire, grass for Chloe, the whole anchorage to myself and perfect weather. 

  
My personal philosophy is that if I can’t have the best in life I simply prefer to do without until my fortunes change.   Sitting on this beautiful beach in a paradise few will ever truly expeiice I’m quite content. Near penniless my stomach grumbles and I smile. If it wasnt for putting myself in this situation the next chapter May never have cone to fruition. The tide is slowly rising, my finances although bleak today will also be on the rise. I’ve been writing this blog for over a decade and I’m finally getting a nibble of what all writers desire even if they won’t admit it, a little bit if recognition. 

That picture on my phone is also firmly painted in my head.  It’s so real I can not only see it but I can feel it, smell it and taste it. It was the product of a dozen years of hard work sacrifice and a continual battle to pull off.  It was the long hard battle that made victory so sweet, the freedom so real an the payoff simply priceless. 

 I find myself at my absolute creative peak when I’m In a borderline state of starvation and dispare.  It’s the only place I can find where there are no boundaries of the mind, where creativity flows like water and where the truest form of plain and simple art is created. It can’t be forced or willed.  All of the greatest artists in the world have literally  starved to follow thier highest passion. I guess what I’m saying is if you don’t possess your every want and desire in this world maybe you just aren’t hungry enough. 

I’ve entered the gates of nirvana, all I had to do was drop to my knees, lower my head and crawl through.  A writer without a story is like a fish out of water. My glass has always been half full, now it’s overflowing.  

I’m reminded of the story of father and son bulls sitting on top of a hill staring down into the valley. The young bull says let’s run down there and fuck one of those cows. The father says no son, let’s walk down and fuck them all.