I stumbled dizzy and light headed back to the boat. I quietly closed the hatch sat down and let out a deep sigh. Tears welled up in my eyes and the flood gates opened, I wasn’t crying because i was sad, it’s more like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. I’ve been fighting a lonely battle for thirty years and for the first time in my life somebody actually listened to me. My brain is broken.
The next step is off to see a neurologist, maybe something can be done. If I was in a wheel chair or on crutches, somebody, anyone might actually listen to me but because I walk up right, I’ve always been blown off, even by my best friends and family. Explaining it is like saying look right there in front of you, it’s a flying saucer, but they don’t see anything so they think you are crazy.
I’ve had to work 10 times harder than the average person just to survive any given day. I can’t read a menu or a job application, or even the directions on the new pills I’m suppose to be taking. People always ask me why the only thing I ever order in a restaurant is bacon and eggs, I haven’t been able to read print for over 10’years. I’m so grateful to have my vision that I don’t complain, I see beauty in everything and appreciate every ounce of what I can see. It all comes at a cost though which is head aches, blurred double vision dizziness, loss of alertness, loss of appetite due to being natious half the day. it’s a nightmare that I’ve been living for 30 years now and I’m totally ok with it. My ear infection led me to a chance meeting with and awesome Doctor. Mild discussion turned a little deeper, she suggested I see a nurologist and explained how and why my brain was formed from birth. My reconstructive eye surgery cured one huge problem but created a new one. My brain and eyes have been in a knock down drag out fist fight every waking moment of my life. My brain doesn’t believe what my eyes tell it and my eyes don’t believe what my brain tells them.
It s such an amazing relief to finally have one single soul tell me I’m not crazy and explain why. So life goes on, the challenge is greater every day and I’m up to it. Time for a nap and then a nice ride on Brompty, life is good here in the islands. I’m often asked how I can be so spastically happy every second of the day. The answer is because I value every single second of the life I have been given. If this is the worst thing that happens to me I am truly the luckiest man alive.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ― Helen Keller