I really don’t know how to say this, so I will just spit it out. The party’s over, and in a morbid way I feel guilty for letting everybody down. Today I wrote my last will and testament. Planning your own wake is actually quite fun, the plan is to have me cremated, put my ashes in my shit bucket and raid Sookies liquor stores which are ample. Sail Sookie out, then throw the whole bucket, ashes and all into the deep blue ocean. I have to say I was getting a bit jealous of the after party. The truth is my biggest worry through all of this is who will care for Sookie in the mannor in which she is accustomed.
Not for one single second have I taken any of this seriously, I simply couldn’t give a rats ass about my last days. I’m a pirate, a ninja and when my time comes I’m totally down with it.
Maybe that’s why I stay so young, because I haven’t a care in the world. I don’t have any stress not a single thought, when you live your life in the moment literally nothing can bring you down. Sure I won’t get to retire when I’m 75 and I doubt that anybody will feel sorry for me scrubbing toilets at that old age but the payoff for me at least is priceless.. I don’t have a plan, there are no dreams and wants and I’m not chasing my future. I simply exist in the time and space that I do and life is petty ok.
Of corse I have been given a wake up call, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends doing anything and everything I have to, to keep the party going. I woke up today and it was petty fucking clear that my natural remodies weren’t working. A friend insisted I see the local nurse practitioner and that’s just what I did. When she walked in she asked what was wrong and I told her straight up, I’m dying. She smiled and asked me why I thought I was dying. My answer, because everybody keeps telling me I’m gonna die. This girl was seriously one of the most amazing encounters I’ve ever had in my entire life, we laughed and chatted and at some point she did do her doctor thing, turns out I have two haineous ear infections and just like that I was sent on my way with serious instructions and a promise that I would eat some food. I’ve been a little too creative lately moving my food budget to the boat budget side. Humm, take this, move it over here, and….it’s gone.
So that’s it, once again am a huge fucking let down, shit I’m the only person who can actually fuck up dying but I have to say I’m quite happy to get a few more good stories in while I’m at it. Today I was notified that I may be 100% full of shit and I take those compliments very seriously. If my life seems to be lived beyond reality than I just may be doing something right. Oh and my redicules vow I made, it was taken in a weakened state of mind, fuck that, I’m all in.
P.S. Thank you to all the people who sent me letters of concern but please don’t ever waste your valuable time worriying about me. This isn’t my first rodeo. I think Benjamin Franklin said it best when he said. “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”