The level of commitment I have to becoming less of a dirtbag is exactly half of the internal drive I have for small scale exploration. I’m not just stepping out of my comrfort zone on a near daily basis, I’m jumping out of the fucking plane without a parachute. No I’m not climbing Mount Everest or rounding the Cape Horn but through the lens of my double vision I see an untapped world of ordinary adventures squared that are epic enough to have me waking up screaming at the top of my lungs, not unlike the way I scream when I’m wide awake, it’s how I deal with the things in this world that scare the shit out of me which is everything.
This is the introduction I sent along with my portfolio for a 3 month contract that pays shit, I doubt I’d live through the journey anyways so pay doesn’t matter anyways and it’s not exactly National Geographic that I was submitting for. Considering that I’ve worked with Nat Geo in the past and recently turned them down it would seem that I’m going backwards in life although this didn’t occur to me until after I had sent the package. I consoled myself that they wouldn’t hire me anyways and let the whole thing go. The funny thing is that they not only responded but sent an offer which I immeidalty declined in favor of a night job scrubbing dishes in a local shit hole restaurant
The question isn’t why would I turn down the contract but why would I want to wash dishes till 2:00 am every day. Somewhere about 30 milliseconds after I dropped the whole package in the mail it ocuured to me that I don’t want to tell someone else’s story, I want to tell my own and even though the work would be fun and scary which makes it even more fun and scary it could only lead to more of the same which takes me further and further away from what Im perusing right now which apperantly and quite sucesssfuly is anynimity as an expedition journalist convering my completely average and below normal adventures which I might add scare the shit out of me ever step of the way.
Just before leaving on my bike trip I was offered a job selling cars, I was all but guaranteed 200k my first year. Why would I choose dish washing for minimum wage over 200k? Yes they are both soul crushing jobs but one is an anchor and one is a launch pad. Rare is the individual who doesn’t spend their whole life working backwards till it’s too late. On my budget I could retire for life on one simple year of selling cars but what if I don’t live a year, spending my last year on this planet basking in the tedium of mediocrity sounds like a fate worse than death but what’s worse is I could get addicted to the money and the lifestyle and one year could turn to ten to life.
You can be dumber than a sac of hammers and your not going to get addicted to minimum wage or scrubbing nasty shit off dishes all night. On the plus side it’s a completely brainless job and I have all my days free to plan the next boneheaded journey I’m sure to take. I may be stupid or greedy for life but I’ll live it now, I don’t want any anchors, life plans, 3, 5 or ten year goals, I just want to fucking live and scream when I’m scared which is always but more importantly I have an insatiable need to feed the addiction of the all incompasimg freedom I have been given.
Today is a good day, I’m fat full of veggie man tacos and have a glass of shitty wine. It’s a far cry from a week ago when I was stuck in the middle of the woods sucking mayonnaise out of little disposable packets because I was literally stsrved for calories, out of food and sick and injured. It might sound like hell but it was pretty damn amusing at the time, it still is. I may never do anything great by other people’s standards but when measured against my timid life where I always have my pink panties in a bunch I’m living at ground zero creating semi rad adventures in not so remote parts of the world.
Today it all begins, I’m liquidating everything I own for a self supported bike ride on my trusty Brompton around the world. It’s all I can think about, Im already jonesing for the open road and the comrodery I found in like minded individuals out there. It all started with one simple question that I was asked, “if you could do anything in the world what would it be?” My answer quite obvious, I would ride my steel horse everywhere, no maps, i will just follow my eyes wherever they find the most curious.