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I stand on Sookies deck squinting into the inky darkness, the wind is torrenting, rain lashing at me, blinding my already poor night vision, the sea is throwing a tantrum.  I face my palms foreword like a ninja warrior and press them into the wind. There is little resistance I am stronger the the opposing force although this seems to be true it isn’t because I’m not on terra firma, my hands press forward but Sookie is slipping backwards through the sea, the reality my brain tells me couldn’t be further from the truth, I’m being set back onto a lee shore.

At sea there are times that you are so desperate you will try anything to overcome the situation.  I can’t help but to wonder why once we set foot on the shore, the theoretically obvious safe place for all humans that we throw caution into the wind and choose to live our lives so dangerously; excuse me while I pause for a ciggi and a sip of scotch.

April 2nd was my six year anniversary with the day Sookie arrived, how time flys. It took me two full years with many failed attempts to get her to the islands which was my only goal. I set sail without a single penny to my name. I’m here but what next, life has become far too comfortable.  As far as island life goes Ive attained it all but as usual the grass “water” is always greener “Bluer”…

Its been an interesting week, I received a very generous offer on Sookie, she’s not for sale.  I’ve found an interesting BCC in Bora Bora and travel plans are coming along slowly.  Why would I fly half way around the world to look at a boat I doubt I will buy?  Perspective wields a sharp knife, it’s not that I want to make this trip, it’s that I need to, my soul has wanderlust and sea trailing a BCC in the South Pacific is sounding pretty delightful on this stormy day.

My life has become too complacent, too easy, too predictable.  I’ve amassed half the money I need to ship Sookie to Florida and exactly enough to ship her to Southern California where our journey began.  I have very little desire to cruise Mexico again but my time sailing the Caribbean was far too short, I’ve dreamed of returning since the day I left.  I could drop the boat in November and follow the thorny path till I find a new group of islands to call home, my desire for Long distance sailing has slipped though the cracks.  Through the years I’ve become a puddle jumper and gunk-holing is where my heart lies. As much as I love being anchored out having a solid dock to return to from time to time is my new life, for now.

The  dream of two boats and endless summer is closer to dreams than reality but my plan is coming along well, all my ducks are in a row. For today it’s tiny homes and small planes but there is a system to this madness.  In the meantime its spring, sailing season, well the weather guesser is calling for wind to top 40 knots tomorrow. Still it’s sailing season with a bit of cat and mouse as far as the weather goes.

I’ve been on land too long, to be pushed and pulled by the wind is in my genetic code, back to that horrible night, yes I was on a lee shore but I was out there, living as close to the edge as one can get and learning another valuable lesson when it comes to Sookies limits, she is a small boat and physics will always win.  Then again the right mixture of skill and luck goes a long way out here.

From the log of Sookie, I can’t help but to wonder… if I wasn’t doing what I’m doing now would I still be dreaming about doing what I’m doing now.