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I’m spazzing out on the phone with my brother when he blurts out, how do you eat an elephant.  It took me a minute and I was like, wait; what??? Um, I dunno how do you eat an elephant? His response, one bit at a time, just get on your fucking bike and ride.  I’m not sure if he’s A) always trying to kill me, B) truly believes is me ” I have no belief in my own abilities, or C) just loves so much that I have the freedom to oh I don’t know, just clear the schedule and walk out the door for a six month ramble to anywhere. I’m kinda thinking its a bit of all three, that would be D) but I’m too lazy to type that one out on my iPhone.

I clocked out at 9:00pm 2 minutes shy of 70 hours for the week, I’ve put an equal amount of work into Chika.  I’m physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.  I have 8 more days, one of them is off to wrap my life up and move into the bike, my home for the next six months.  If all goes well I will ride as far as Banderas Bay where I’ll board a sailboat as second skipper bound for the South Pacific to meet a girl, well it’s a boat but you know what I mean.

This is where I start to get really freaking, well… freaked out.  I was born with the girliest brain in the planet “this would explain my new pink mankini” and am literally afraid of my own shadow.  My time in the jungles of everywhere from Costa Rica to Panama have me shrieking like a 12 year old girl at a Lady Gaga concert when it comes to bugs, creepy crawlies and all things that go bump in the night and fuck yes I’m scared shitless of the dark. On a brighter note I’m bringing one luxury item, it’s my super power but I’ll talk about that some other time, or did I just do it now? My iPhone is stacked with Regina Spector and other songs that will add to the lonlieness on this solo journey. I’m armed and dangerous with my iPhone as I was too cheap to buy a mirrorless camera and my Nikon simply won’t fit.

Seriously, I’d rather shave my ass with a dull cheese grater than confront a night alone in the dark but it is what it is.  Im mailing my micro GPS to my brother in law so he can download the base maps and lat and long coordinates as I’ve failed miserably at the task, I literally get lost in the grocery store.  Without this little modern gem of navigation I’m doomed although I guess I can just hope to folllow the tracks of some other poor soul as foolish as me in attempting this ride. I haven’t spent a single second training, I simply don’t have the time.  My body is wrecked but I have 6 months to Unweck it. Seriously, I have no buisiness doing this and am sure I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, NONE. I’m totally unprepared as usual.

Yes, blogging from an iPhone sucks but it’s the only tool I have so you are stuck with my shit images and massive amount of short sparatic posts for now. I’m pretty pleased with the bike and it’s set up. If I could do it again the only change I would make would be a Vische seat bag by Relevate Designs instead of the Pika but since I already had it from Brompty it’s what I’m using.  The bike is freaking amazing to ride and I couldn’t of made a better choice but since I’ve previously owned a KM was an easy pick. If your reading this and contemplating a new ride I can honestly say that with a lifetime of mountain biking under my saddle the Surly Karate Monkey is one of the best designs on the planet and don’t let’s its relatively inexpensive price fool you, it seriously is the most fun MTB to ride on the planet. With my budget of $15.00 per day I won’t be adding anything at this point but I most certainly will be taking away.  I’ve got an easy 1000 miles to figure it all out before it gets real.

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