Yes this is the title of the book I'm never going to write. Chapter one Don’t be a dick! Having spent the better part of my life on the water there is no end to the stupid shit I have witnessed. Running the marina I get about 10 new stories a day, living in Friday Harbor I got about 20 a day. It’s almost as if these fucktard boaters had never tried to dock a boat before. Thrust and drift, it isn’t rocket science.

Rocna anchors is in my sights today. Go ahead google search Rocna anchor review, when I do I’m number one on the list. My words are all over their website and I’m the one who coined the term Rocna’d to sleep. When I asked to borrow a new Vulcan for my 100 day trip they told me to stuff it. On that trip at 50 degrees north I ran into every type of holding ground on the planet. Due to my shit engine I only set my anchor one time, all the rest it was just laid out as 99% of the anchoring was done with the engine off. I can’t image a better test but that’s not what’s pissing me off.

My log book has some pretty interesting
entries lately which all add up to the necessity of more chain. When I write about a larger boat it’s not because of any short comings in Sookie other than the sheer physics of her size. She simply won’t carry 300 feet of chain and a windlass and still sail properly. I’m not ruining my foredeck and v berth by placing my windlass by the mast so I’m stuck. I love the throaty sound of 5/16 paying out the chain pipe, it’s one of my favorite things in the world. 1/4 HT sounds so girly but I need more, I’m thinking 100’ max and that shit is heavy.

Go to Rocna’s website and they have this awesome idiots guide to chain and anchor and rope sizes. “ before you embarrass yourself by telling me there is no rope on a boat I can assure you there is”. So they spec a whole pile of anchors with 1/4 HT and appropriate spec rope sizes. Of corse there is no shackle with a corresponding work load or max load. if you use this method they suggest with 1/4 you may as well fasten your anchor with a zip tie. Why can’t the best damn anchor company on the planet figure this shit out, I’m just a dumb fucking sailor and I see the fatal flaw. BTW if you can’t tell I’m having a raging nic fit, yet another reason I’m single 😉

While I’m bitching about small boats there is no dinghy I can find that will fit on my dog house and for the life of me I can find a new Avon Redstart for sale on the planet so excuse me if I keep all avenues open for the bigger boat. I curse myself for getting rid of Sookies windlass but she just sailed like shit with it and it’s 200’ of 5/16. On a plus side it’s on a good friends boat so it’s still in the family.

Yes I can and more than likely will stick with 5/16 but this I can tell you. Pulling my 30’ of chain with my 22lb anchor from 100’ is almost enough to kill me. I simply don’t know if I could pull 100’ of chain. I do my best to anchor in less than 40’ but shit happens and I always know I’ll have hell to pay in the morning.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever get a bigger boat, I like that I can paint her bottom with a gallon of paint, fend her off with a little shove and sail her easily and efficiently even in very tight spaces without the need for a motor. She has big beds, small sails and wide decks. Her split head sails create two slots instead of one and she is easy to reef down in the most challenging situations, she is also payed for…

I’m going to go bang my head again the wall for a bit but we can pick this all up in chapter 2 Why ropes don’t control sheets but sheets do control sails. Speaking of sheets, three to be exact. Sobriety sucks.

This blog post was brought to you by the geniuses who invented the water ballasted anchor.

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to appeal to another cause.- Ulmann's Razor

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