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“Twenty Years From Now You Will Be More Disappointed By The Things You Didn’t Do Than By The Ones You Did Do.        So true if you are under 30.” Well, if you’ve reached the fart part of the bell curve this would read better.  Twenty years from now you will be dead!  I think about this often as I head into my final glide path in life, friends my age are dropping like flies. I feel as young as ever, as fit as I can be, happy, healthy and certainly to some extent wise, or at least wiser that I used to be. The only remaining question is what to do with the remainder of my life. Its Valentines day and I’m alone, not because I’m solo and not because I’m single but because I’ve chosen to be alone tonight. A recent dinner date with a island girl and her parents was beyond odd as I’m chronologically older than both her mother and father in age but clearly 25 years younger in physical and mental age.

The problem, my problem is that regardless of any this I’m doomed, the days are growing shorter, the end is catapulting towards me at mach 10 and choices must be wisely made. I’ve been both a sailor and a cyclist my whole life.  The lifestyle of the cyclist is one of fitness and health where that of a sailor is sedentary with high quantities of food and drink.  On the other hand cycling is insanely dangerous where sailing in and of itself may be the safest sport on the planet. for the last 25 years I’ve successfully made a life splitting my time between my two loves. Through all of this I’ve more or less remained single quite successfully as the only thing more difficult than finding a girl my age that will cycle 60-80 miles a day and sleep in the dirt is finding one that will shit in a bucket. My life is by design, it doesn’t mean its empty by any stretch of the imagination but it is free.

So what the hell does any of this have to do with electric conversion? Everything actually. The new boat hull has already been built and it has a brand new diesel engine installed, one I have been second guessing every step of the way.  The thought of going electric has been in every conversation, every thought and every detail of this whole new journey as for some sick and twisted rule of thumb the heart of every sailboat lies within the belly of the beast.  As a person who hates internal combustion in any form I’ve fallen far from the tree on this one and it all comes to cosmetics. If I’m going to build the most beautiful boat on the planet I don’t want an ugly engine hanging off the back. In my younger days being completely engine-less was awesome. Now that I’m a grouchy old curmudgeon I don’t want to spend hours 100 yards off the breakwater trying to get in to my slip. Having said that I also will never be a straight line sailor who flips on the iron genny every time the wind goes above 90. I have done it before and I will do it again but as a purist I love the renewable energy of my sails, for me they are the heart of my boat.

The electrical conversion no matter how much I try and wrap my head around it makes no sense for me.  Yes I can use it to get in and out of anchorages and short periods but there is no way to recharge it short of marinas and as much as I love living at the dock, when I’m cruising I hate marinas. The amount of batteries and solar panels to make this a functional system would ruin the entire purpose of the sailboat. In the end as much as i hate to say it the diesel is the only choice for the new boat.  Reality sucks in that way that life is what it is and as much as I despise reality most days its hard to beat.

Yes dating younger is highly over rated but where I live its my only logical choice.  Yes installing a diesel engine sucks but on the new boat its my only logical choice. Yes getting older sucks but there is no logical choice.  What I can do is choose my direction and here in lies the most difficult choice. Getting on the bike and riding it around the world is the most logical choice, I have enough saved to live conservatively for the rest of my life and never worry about money again. I love the lifestyle but… Sookie is and always has been the perfect home and a rock solid foundation to build on.  The new boat is a challenge and one I’ve dreamed of my entire life and while there is no logic to it in any manner it is the thing all my dreams and nightmare are filled with these days.  If i could go back in my life and meet a much young me Id high five myself because I am exactly where I had always hoped I would end up in life.  Be it dating, sailboats or life in general until we realize that there is no logical solution, we will never be able to make the big leap to happiness which we all will eventually learn is filled with compromise. All first world problems if you choose wisely.

From the log of Sookie. I wake from a terrible nightmare. A midget is attacking me, his jaw is clamped on my arm as i flail wildly screaming a midget is attacking me. I want to punch him in the face but even in my half dream induced state I know on some level this is all so wrong.  what the hell is the meaning of all of this???

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