Two steps foreword, one step back. I’m making ground, slowly but surely this pipe dream is almost ready to smoke. Piece by piece I’m out searching for a pirates bounty of old bronze, hard woods, fittings, winches, blocks, anything and everything. I have accumulated enough to start my own marine chandlery but this is only the beginning. I know exactly what I want and won’t settle or budge an inch.
It’s all the small things that matter. I could buy a house for what the end result is going to be on this feisty little girl but I don’t want a house. For a bit of motivation I’ve ordered a new anchor and it’s not a Rocna. I found an old email of a line manufacturing company that wanted to send me spools of free line. I’ve sat on many large offers waiting for the right time. Like it or not I’m selling advertising in exchange for boat parts. Selling everything that doesn’t matter. Tracking down and digging up all the very real treasures I have left safely hiding in wait for the big one.
It’s not without regret as Sookie is pulling at me everyday and more than likely will stay in the family as my summer home in the islands. She is that special that I just don’t think I can say good bye to her. The more my brain turns I can’t help but to wonder if she is actually the finer of the two yachts but time will heal all wounds, fill in the blanks and answer all questions. For today at least my accountant tells me I can have my cake and eat it too.
Spring is close at hand, it’s 50 degrees today. I’ve invited a friend to round Vancouver island with me in early spring but she is hesitant, a farmer and the water scares her as much as it scares me. That old wind vane sits in the corner but I still can’t commit to installing it.
I’ve put hours of thought into the new boat and she will have no electric whatsoever, at least for now. I’m slowly working my way off grid completely. My log book will be my journal of record. Colored pencils will paint the memories. My little single side band receiver will tune me into the real world when the silence becomes too loud to bear.
Some things are better left silent until they are accomplished but even then time for reflection and adjustment must be taken. One year ago on this day my 10 year vow of poverty ended as silently as it rolled in. I’ve learned so much over this journey but most of all that money is the single largest barrier to freedom and happiness that exists on this planet. It sucks us in and holds us fast. It isn’t that I hate money or think it’s a bad thing, far from it but In having almost none I found the freedom to live so many amazing journeys that I couldn’t afford while I was wealthy. That fine line of enough is well understood and appreciated. Having a few of the desired necessities are so much more appreciated having happily gone without for so many years.
What I’ve come to realize In so many ways through this amazing journey is that while Sookie may not be anybody’s ideal boat she truly is mine. The new boat is a new project mostly because I can. To live a truly endless summer is a lifetime dream, now my future reality. Naturally I’ve been going a little crazy with my new financial freedom but the reigns are being pulled in. My simple life is about to become more simple. My personal needs are fewer and further apart.
Not any part of this journey has been easy but I never expected it to be. I wanted to experience the harsh realities of the cruelties of society. How they look down at people who they think are lesser than they. I’ve been abused my whole life by crewel people because of my disabilities, even more so when I was poor but I’ve never let the hurt hold me back, it’s always been the fuel in my fire. Little people don’t frighten me, big people don’t frighten me. Poverty doesn’t scare me any more than wealth does. I’ve said this so many times but my biggest fear is living a life doomed to mediocrity. All my dreams have always been set at a very attainable level, or so it seems…