The rain comes each night and occasionally in the mornings, this has so far been a no summer, summer and my brain is confused by the lack of warmth I wait so long for each year. I’ve postponed my entire future waiting for a sign from the sea, no more sailing, the bike trip is off and now I have to figure out what road lies ahead.
I don’t know why but I sent off for payment instructions for my new wind vane. I haven’t been able to find much motivation to take advantage of Sookie being in the boat yard, my brain is in knots. To many choices will do that to a person. I slowly read about a girl and her solo circumnavigation on her Falmouth Cutter 22.
It’s been nearly a year without Chloe and the void continues, I play with every dog I meet but deep down I know there will not be another in my life. I piddle around Sookie wondering why I didn’t just sail off broke for the summer but reading through the manuscript of a book I wrote and will never publish about my accounts in Hawaii and I’m reminded that I don’t need any more adventure in my life, my fun meter is pegged.
A slow boring simple life is out there, it’s calling me and now all I have to do is say yes, but I have already said no.