Through good times and bad times, till death do us part. I mutter the words as I teach tying a proper cleat. I look up and smile, if you don’t know the knot tie a lot. I’ve lost my dingy on more than one occasion either to slippery knots or high rising tides, take your eye off the ball for even a moment and your going for a long cold and sobering swim.
I’ve purposely been tying all the knots in my life very loosely, it isn’t that I’m not attached to them but right now I don’t want any anchors in my life. I’m rapidly coming to the reality that I’ll be flying to my new home to start construction, not driving so my new windlass and dinghy will either be stored in a shed or used as props in the winery till I figure it all out. The drama of getting all my stuff 4000 miles away has prompted me to unload everything in my life. I’ll arrive with my daypack and the shirt on my back. Starting clean is a good thing.
I’ve always kept Sookie tidy and organized, anything that can’t find a home is jettisoned. A cluttered life is the surest outward sign of indecision, insecurity and being completely lost. To the uncommitted your mind is truly your worst enemy. Sitting on a small island waiting for a ferry to another small island I watch the TV and listen to how strong the economy is. One day later I hear the news that my country has gone bankrupt again. It takes me an entire day to hitchhike to Bellingham to buy a few thousand dollars worth of silver, another day back and a third to find the perfect place to burry my new treasure, I don’t trust banks and I never will.
The concept of giving up all the security I have created in Sookie to build a new boat is a giant leap. I look at our massively failing economy and it causes great concern in making the jump. On the other hand if I can finish the boat before the financial world implodes I’ll have the ultimate bug out boat that is completely off the grid and brand new. A 7 day juice fast has me feeling light and strong, my mind crystal clear and focused.
My only snag is that my future is completely out of my hands, I can’t start the new boat until it’s ready for me and as of today there is nothing but a few drawings pinned on my wall. I’ve taken a giant leap of faith in this whole process so I’m sitting in a holding pattern. In the meantime I want to spend a month in Hawaii or cycle from Alaska home or sail Sookie around Vancouver island. I have the time and wherewithal to do all three if I start this week.
Sitting here waiting for the phone to ring is frustrating. I turn my attention inward, crank the heat to a hundred degrees and do a little yoga, my little tiny home has been treating me very well when I’m actually here so I’m utilizing all my internal space for as long as I have it…